I've lived on both sides of the fence. I began life on one side and stayed there for several decades. In fact, of all the folks who attend church about 99% of them are on that side—the PS (pew sitter) side.
As a PS, I faithfully attended church. I went through Sunday School, Catechism, and Calvinettes (that dates me). I participated in young couples’ group, small groups, Coffee Break, and weekend retreats. I've attended umpteen committee meetings, served and cleaned up too many meals to count, and taught classes for 4 to 14 year olds. I was very engaged in church life but very unaware of the pastor.My interactions with the pastor (they've all been men) were very limited. There were the tweaks on the nose (when I was very young) and handshakes after the service. There was pre-marriage counseling, visits before the kids were baptized, and a couple of hospital calls. In one church the pastor occasionally joined the worship committee I served on.
I don’t even remember thinking much about the pastor (embarrassing to admit now). He was just there. He preached on Sunday which, as the bad joke goes, was the only day he really worked. I had no idea what he did with his time during the week, the pressures he was under, the fishbowl he and his family lived in, the 24/7 nature of his work, etc. etc. etc.
I do remember hearing that someone put a turkey in his car one Christmas. I thought that was very strange. Why couldn't the pastor buy his own turkey?
In 2000, I moved to the other side of the fence. After farming for a time, my husband was ordained and went to his first church. I was now another kind of PS – pastor’s spouse. This was an eye-opening experience. Ministry is a wonderful calling, filled with blessings, but it’s challenging. I could list all sorts of things pastors and their families experience but I won’t. That’s not the point of this blog post. Most pew sitters have no idea of what the pastor’s life is like. Often this leads to a “taking for granted” attitude, rather than one of appreciation, toward our pastor and his or her spouse and family. I was guilty of this for too many years.
Every person needs to feel appreciated. Pastors, and their spouses, are no exception. I remember getting movie tickets in the mail. No note, just tickets. It brought tears to my eyes. A small thing? Some would think so, but to us it was huge.
If you’re a pastor, I encourage you to print this article in your next newsletter. If you’re a pew sitter, I encourage you to become an encourager to your pastor and his/her family. How?
- A turkey in the car.
- A ride in your combine.
- A casserole.
- A note of thanks.
- A verbal “Thank you.”
- An offer to babysit the kids.
Written by Lis Van Harten, who has gone from pew sitter to pastor’s spouse to pastors’ supporter. This blog post was published in The Network, http://network.crcna.org/home .
Check out http://network.crcna.org/church-admin-finance/some-thoughts-about-pastoring-pastor for further insight.
N.B. We also have five wonderful, dedicated, hard working Zone Coordinators who minister faithfully to Hope Fellowship. They could also use some encouragement!
Alice Brink, Youth Zone Coordinator
Mike Broersma, Worship Zone Coordinator
Melissa Claxton-Oldfield, Community Zone Coordinator
Joan Doorenspleet, Children’s Zone Coordinator
Chris Ritskes, Admin Zone Coordinator
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